Time is not on my side

I'm not sure that I've yet adjusted to being back in the States (though really I should be by now). Yesterday I woke up at 5 AM after a mere four hours of sleep. I knew I needed more but my body resisted; the thing hates me, I swear. Today, I slept in a whopping six hours later than that and rolled out of bed at quarter to 11. Yesterday I dragged Raleigh to the beach for a romantic sunrise stroll and today, he had to wait for me to actually wake up before I took him for a run.

My memory also has a mind of its own--for lack of a better expression--forgetting and recalling things on a whim, generally leaving the important things for me to remember too late. My brother and his girlfriend were up visiting and I had planned to go to our grandparent's camp with them for just one night. At eleven-thirty on said night, I slapped my forehead in dismay--I had entirely forgotten! He mercifully pardoned me the next day with a chuckle and a roll of the eyes, "Oh, Boogs." (That is my family nickname--maybe I will explain it to you one day. It certainly is better than what he used to call me: Chubbers. And with his speech impediment it was more like Chubbews. Good times.)

Anyway, I've been rapidly cleaning my room (and house and dog and and car, too) and while glancing about my closet on Tuesday, I saw a stack of my yearbooks. The outer binding listed the title and the publication number: in this case they were numbers 96, 97, 98 and 99. I confess that I literally muttered out loud to myself, "I was in high school in the nineties?..." Moments later I recalled that, no, in fact not only did I graduate in 2008, in '96 I was six years old. I have no excuse for myself, it's just too ridiculous--but wait, there's more:

Time flies and I pretend to.

On Wednesday I flew to Minneapolis! That was so much fun, but the funny story of my absurdity occurs the day before:

It was Tuesday evening and I was sitting at my computer doing who knows what. I did not know that I had never changed my calendar application back to EST time; it was still in Europe/Zurich time. Therefore, in the evening on Tuesday, my calendar told me it was already Wednesday. Now, I had been planning to visit two of my best friends in Minneapolis on Wednesday in the late afternoon. I did a double-take, and I saw that it was already Wednesday! What a shame! I had so wanted to go. I put my head down on my desk in disappointment. It literally took me a few minutes to convince myself that something was amiss. You can imagine the thrill of gaining an entire day of time and the opportunity to see the friends I thought I had missed! I corrected the time zone and was very glad.

While these are rather hilarious, they concern me: I am determined to think better and more clearly, speak more slowly and live purposefully. These moments become funny stories, but I don't want to find a few months of time gone with my life zooming by crazily like this.

1 Peter 4:7 says "The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer."

I find that being of sound judgment and sober spirit is good not only for prayer, but practically useful too, and even relationally. First, I am not going to haphazardly speak with the Lord. Second, I don't want to do things poorly: I'd like to fold the laundry well or wash the dishes until they gleam, or get an A on that essay (but who am I kidding, at Hillsdale, we hope for B's or C's). There's no reason not to strive to do things well, and every reason to actually do so: do all things to the glory of God. And third, in relationships with friends, family and the rest of the world, having good judgement is essential.

It is great to think rationally in all areas, accompanied by our natural emotions. I think the two working together won't generally lead us astray. And love, both as a decision and an emotion, is of course the substance of any good relationship and a source of joy. There are times though, when for any variety of reasons, that I find the natural emotion of love stifled and practically smothered--then I have to become mechanical about love, a robot going through the motions. Doesn't that sound terrible? It isn't really. As soon as I decide to do that, real love replaces my right decision to love. And, voila! Does that make it sound too simple or too stupid or too fake? It's hard to communicate. I just want to follow Jesus Christ's teaching to love my neighbors and even my enemies. No one escapes my responsibility of love. Therefore I must choose to love them. So, this choice and others require sound judgement and a calm, gentle spirit. I don't want to slap my forehead at the end of my life realizing I've forgotten to love some people.

I'm graduating college in nine months, and for goodness' sake, I want to finish well and glean every bit of knowledge and chance to grow that I discover at school. After that, it's off to new adventures!